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Making Love Last Help for Couples in Trouble

Making Love Last; Help for Couples in Trouble
by author Jeff Forte

In The 90-Minute Marriage Miracle, The Only Guide You Will Ever Need to Making Love Last, the reader will find a list of “Breakthrough Strategies” intended to help resolve conflicts and improve relationships.  

Divorce is increasingly common, but is has been my experience as a relationship coach that almost anything is possible when people know what to do, no matter how hopeless the situation might seem.

Here’s a summary of the strategies:

1. Can you handle the truth? Stop doing anything that hurts the relationship. We have all done things that have not been helpful to sustaining love.

2. Check Your Vision. Know what you want, not what you don’t want. Most people don’t have a good idea of what they are working toward together. They get caught up in the stressors of the moment, instead of working toward what they want their lives to be like.

3. Correct the Polarity. People change over time, which impacts relationships. If you could go back to the beginning of the relationship and begin now to interact with each other in that way, then things might change quickly.

4. Attention and Appreciation. Show your partner more appreciation and attention. Offer reassurance about your commitment instead of subtle hints of your unhappiness.

5. Button Pushing Push Back. Pushing buttons escalates arguments. Soften up. Bring more playfulness, fun, silliness and surprise into your interaction. Stop taking things so seriously.

6. Tropical Storms. Bottled up emotions will come out.  Can you have heartfelt understanding for whatever your partner is going through? Can you remember to completely focus on them when they need you? Can you tune in without taking it as a personal attack?

7. Me First or Maybe Not. Are you waiting for the other person to give to you? Someone must step forward first to meet their partner’s needs. Take responsibility for the relationship by giving to your partner first.

Having a great marriage is a choice. Think of your words and actions through this view: Is what I’m doing right now beneficial, helpful, or supportive to sustaining love and passion in my marriage? If the answer is no, then why are you doing it? You could choose to do something else. Your marriage happiness will reflect your choice either way.

Jeff Forte CSIC CME Is an Executive and Peak Performance Coach specializing in relationship and team dynamics. His book The 90-Minute Marriage Miracle, The Only Guide You Will Ever Need to Making Love Last, is available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble and Balboa Press. Contact Forte at [email protected] or 860-633-8555.
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